this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
