I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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