I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
