My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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