I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
