quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
