capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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