He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize