i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
