I look better un-naked...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
