After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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