omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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