I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
