Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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