respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Who did Billy Mays play for?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
