who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize