i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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