I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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