I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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