I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize