Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
