Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
