girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
