My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
