Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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