windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
