sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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