Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
