He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
tell me about the fingering
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