I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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