I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
