Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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