I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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