You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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