I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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