smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
