Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
