next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
