playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
