Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
