Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
