nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize