can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
