Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Send help, water and tortillas.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
