Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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