dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
