i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
