There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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