on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
