So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize