what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
