I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
