FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
