just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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