okay pat passed out under dana's car
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
