I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
