If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
