I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize