I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
