There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
