Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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