do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
