Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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