You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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