I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
